Thursday, August 6, 2015

My 1 piece of advice. (hint: it's about love)

My sister sent me this text this morning (not the part about the dog park, that was yesterday) and I was like, just cringing trying to imagine what embarrassing thing it could possibly be...

But it was this. A picture of John and I from 6 years ago today. 

It made my heart feel all warm and fuzzy, and I immediately went "awwwwwwww." And it's not that I hadn't seen this picture before, it's one of my favorites actually. It was my Facebook profile picture for a long time, it's even in my "short story" page here, but I never knew the exact date, and the name of the album got me thinking about that very night. And that summer. And back to the time we spent as "best friends" and only best friends.

In this picture I had just recently turned 21, and John was 20. It was that phase of young adulthood (if it can even be called that) where we were transitioning from house parties to going "out." We spent a lot of time during the summer of 2009 at "The Whiskey Barrel" because it was 18 and up, so I could buy the drinks and John and my sister could sneak them into the bathroom. (Kids..)

I remember John told me that he liked my jeans (they had about 40 holes in them) and I remember this was my favorite shirt of his. It always made me look at him in a different way. It made him look older. (Compared to the Pacsun t-shirts that he usually wore, which I still love and won't let him throw away the Billabong shirt he was wearing when we met.) He used to wear this shirt every time we went out, which is funny because he does the same thing now. He has his "going out" shirts that he only wears when we "go out."

The way my sister labeled this picture, "gosh they're cute" it would appear like we were dating, but we weren't. (And didn't for three more years.) People would always tell us that we were so cute. And we would say "we know" and joke about how someday I would be Johns second wife and that we would have babies that would be short with huge blue eyes. We had this weirdly close relationship for two people who were "just friends." I can't remember for certain, but we probably made out that night. Which we did from time to time and then laughed about in the morning. We probably even slept in the same bed, which we also did often. (And not in a dirty way.) I would always find John at the end of the night, one because I felt safe with him, and two because we would stay up all night laughing until I cried because John has always been the funniest person in the world to me. One night I remember being at a party and he walked 20 minutes in the snow to meet me there and walk me back to where he was staying at. Then we stayed up all night laughing while he made fun of Twilight and vampires and my obsession with Edward Cullen. In the mornings we would play guitar hero and go to Panera. And I never wanted those days to end. He was that person that I never got sick of. That I could have spent all of my time with. (And I don't like to spend a lot of time with people lol.)

But just friends, that was it. We never talked about how we felt about each other or anything even close to that discussion, and if we did, it was joking around. We called each other "best friends" almost immediately after we met (the summer prior to this picture) and that was it. I think deep down I always knew that we would end up together, but we were having too much fun. To put it mildly, we were wild back then. And I think we can both agree that it's a good thing we grew up a little bit before we decided to date.

Our relationship has changed a lot since this picture 6 years ago. It's even changed a lot since we began dating, and since we've been married. And it's probably going to always continue to change going forward, because that's life. Life changes. The last thing we want to do now is "go out." But some things have stayed the same. We still laugh ourselves to sleep some nights. I still think he is the funniest person in the world and still pee my pants occasionally because I can't stop laughing. We still love Panera ;) We still want to spend all of our time together, and at the end of the day only want to find each other. Getting this picture today was a good reminder to remember that first and foremost, these two people are best friends before anything else.

I don't offer a lot of advice, but one thing I will tell anyone who listens is this:
 Marry your best friend.

That person who you can spend literally every second of every minute of every day with, without killing. That person that knows all your worst secrets, and still likes you. That person that will change your pants for you when you pee yourself drunk. (Yes, I've mentioned peeing my pants twice now.) That person who comes over on Christmas Eve just to watch movies with you. That person that sends you flowers on your birthday even though you didn't deserve them. That person who bring you little coffee cups full of water when you don't feel good. That person who agrees to practice karaoke duets with you even though you both know you never will go to karaoke. That person you need to talk to right away whenever something/ anything happens. That person that will always answer the phone. That person you feel safe with. That person you can't imagine a world without them in it. If you have a friend this like, marry them. (Assuming you aren't already married. In that case I don't offer advice.)

I love this picture (and the one above from the same night that I also found) because it symbolizes an "era" of our life together. We had no idea what would come of our relationship in the future, but I think if I'm being honest, I'm not surprised that we are where we are today. Something drew us to each other since the very night we met, and it's not something I can explain. We could go months without talking, and then when we did, it was like a piece of me made sense again. Maybe some day I'll get around to writing our "love story" but probably not. It's a long story and too weird to explain, and I don't think there is any couple quite like us out there in the world. Long story short; friends turned into boyfriend and girlfriend, and boyfriend and girlfriend turned into "let's get married." ;)

*Side note: how funny is it that every night out used to deserve a whole Facebook album? I used to carry around my "digital camera" everywhere (could have cared less about my phone!) and take soo many pictures, then rush home in the morning hungover to immediately upload them all onto Facebook. Complete with a name that made no sense, or were lyrics to a song. (like this one "whiskel barry?") Also, did anyone else gain like 20 lbs when they turned 21? Because I did. (Clearly....)

Until next time. x


  1. Aww little babies! I love every part of this post (especially him changing your wet pants for you and walking 20 minutes to get you and walk back). Also, I'm with you on the Facebook albums--I have no idea what some of those titles mean. Lol

    1. Facebook Facebook Facebook...we all know how I feel about that haha. I remember having an album named after every Lady Gaga song. So embarrassing! And peeing my pants is embarrassing too...but the point was, my best friend was there to help me out. And it only happened one time!! (I think)

  2. you guys are SO cute!! k so Jason has a reception shirt that he ALWAYS will only wear to receptions haha boys. And when you said it was from 6 years ago I couldn't believe 2009 was 6 years ago, like what??!! Anyways, I love this and got chills like 10 different times haha Jason and I were also best friends for a few years before we decided to date so I can totally relate! And to this day I still have no clue what clicked all of a sudden but i am so glad it did. You guys are so dang cute and perfect together! ps also guilty of naming fb albums stupid titles and making song lyrics my status ;)
    xo Candace
    ps HI JOHN!

    1. Guys are so weird!! I'm always thinking like "I have a million pictures of you in that shirt already John!!" but he doesn't care, so I try not to either. I should actually be more like him and wear my clothes more than 4 times each. It's a really good idea lol. I need to read more about you and Jason because I looooove people who can relate to this weird story. (luckily you skipped the whole drunkness that we were so stupid about) But it is a weird thing to go from being friends to a couple. We used to always say "i love you" as friends and then once we started dating we were like "um we shouldn't say that anymore" haha, so backwards! But it was the best foundation we could have ever started on.

    2. hahah seriously! I need to find him a new reception shirt because you're right, so many pictures of it already!! yeah our bff stories are similar! But I love it and I wouldn't trade our story for any other. K that is so funny! haha the I love you part. Cause it's true, it'd be like wait let's wait to say it till it's the LOVE kind of love. ahhh you gotta write up your story sometime!!

  3. Aww this is cute! I wish I facebooked enough to have memories ��I agree, marry your best friend. There is no one I tell more to than my husband and no one I trust more. While I know you aren't pro-facebook the memories thing can be kind of cool. Danny had a memory from four years ago today on his when I drove up to Illinois to visit him during training after bootcamp. It feels like a lifetime ago that happened, but it was only four years! No matter you and John's story it all worked out in the best way possible.

    1. I know! It's the one thing I regret about deleting it. I know for a fact I had a bajillion pictures from this night. Although I prefer to not be reminded about the kind of person I was at 21, I wish I had any and all pictures we had together. I love love love your love story though! Keep writing about it because I need to know more details.

  4. Ah I love this! I almost cried like 3 times while reading it because it's just so sweet and you seem like you are truly made for one another! I also panic when people send cryptic text messages like that. Or when someone texts me "call me". I agree with all of this though, I almost cry (okay fine I do cry) every time I have to leave Bill. It is the most refreshing feeling in the world finding your person. Since the weekend Bill and I met we would spend a straight like 72 hours together and never get tired of one another, and first dates lasting that long could be awkward so we were lucky. My best friend Jamie told me a few months into dating Bill that I called her when he went to the bathroom the first night we met through mutual friends at a bar and told her "hey Jame just calling to let you know I met the man I'm going to marry." Needless to say she was pretty worried hahah!



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